Monday, March 16, 2015



Why Cinderella is a Must-See for Little Girls and Big Girls Alike

As a girl who grew up watching Disney movies, and now as the mother of a little girl who incessantly watches Disney movies, Cinderella was never a favorite. I related more easily to headstrong, defiant Ariel, better understood Belle’s feminist underpinnings. Cinderella herself was just a bit too vapid for me – all her hopes tied to wishes, dreams, and magic – and no one looks that happy about scrubbing the floor, except wives in vintage Miltown ads. 



And Prince Charming? More like Prince One-Dimensional. He offers nothing to the plot besides showing up and having his head turned by the loveliest girl at the ball, without even exchanging two sentences with her. He’s little more than a judge in a beauty pageant, and can’t even be bothered to go out on his own with the damn glass slipper – he sends his minions instead to do the dirty work. 



No, Prince Phillip was my boy. At least he had two brain cells to rub together, the guts to challenge his father’s antiquated notions, and the courage to slay a fire-breathing dragon on Aurora’s behalf. Now that’s a real man for you.

After watching previews for the 2015 live action version of Cinderella (aforementioned little girl; youtube; ad nauseam), I essentially expected more of the same.  They prominently featured a really, really creepy stepmother and her equally creepy cat, a young Cinderella who appeared to be comprised of goodness and light, Prince Charming with a winsome but still cheesy grin, and the dress. Adorned with glittery butterflies, for crying out loud.




Well. I can’t even begin to tell you how pleasantly surprised I was with this movie. I loved it. I loooved it. It had so much heart, and depth, and yet somehow retained just enough of that good ol’ Disney magic to remind you who was behind this little gem. And more than once, I was actually moved to tears. Moreover, I was just really, really grateful to sit beside my daughter with my arm wrapped around her shoulders and view this film together. Because unlike the original version, which (albeit in a completely charming Disney way) has always sent her the message “you just keep wishing and dreaming and a Prince Charming will come to find you beautiful and rescue you from your life,” this movie was rich with other messages I couldn’t wait to reiterate and discuss with her. Some are rooted in the original, and some are brand new. I believe all are valuable.

1)      People can be really nasty. And there’s usually a reason why. A lot of people, after experiencing people being nasty to them, turn nasty themselves. It’s easier this way. It’s easier to shut down, and not care. Take that nasty else on someone else.
Don’t ever do this.

In the original movie, we see Cinderella straighten her shoulders and say “yes Stepmother” and go about her business with silent grace. She almost makes it look easy. Guess what, it’s not. 2015 Cinderella is broken. She collapses to her knees, she falls apart in tears. She shows us exactly how hard it is to remain gracious and kind when others are not. It is not easy to be the bigger person, but she shows little girls it’s possible. Living amidst a “mean girl” culture, we’re all trying to teach our daughters to be kind, even when others are not. Thank you, Ella, for being a role model of this ideal, whilst not downplaying how completely difficult it is to do so. You make kindness cool. But also a little gritty and completely real. Your battle to take the high road over the easy road was so much more relatable than that of your predecessor’s.



2)      Your Prince Charming doesn’t just save you. You save him, too.

As I said, the previews only provide a quick glimpse of “Prince Kit.” Bright blue eyes, shit-eating grin. I didn’t expect to swoon. But oh, swoon I did. I simply adored Prince Kit and the direction they took his character in the 2015 live action version. I’m not a G.O.T. girl, and I have no idea what type of character Richard Madden portrays in the series, but I gained a ton of admiration for the genuine fragility he brought to this role.




In this version of Cinderella, we see that true men sometimes show their strength in allowing themselves to be weak. By acknowledging that it’s the women in their life who make them brave, who help them be strong. (SPOILER ALERT) We see Kit curled up in the fetal position in tears beside his dying father, we see him stumbling over his words when asking Ella for the first dance. Sometimes Prince Charming isn’t smooth, and sometimes that makes him all the more charming, right? He’s real. He’s so far from one-dimensional.

He allows himself to be challenged by Ella. Challenged to stand up for ideals, even if they’re uncommon, challenged to fight for his heart. Salvation isn’t a one-way street, and princesses are just as capable of it as princes.

3)      Your true prince? Will love you at your worst, not just your most beautiful.

In the original Cinderella, the only time the prince lays eyes on her is at the ball. He’s not even present when the “peasant girl” with her hair tied back in rags is revealed to be the one who the slipper fits. Next time he sees her? She’s in a wedding dress, once more turned into the beautiful princess.

In the 2015 remake, the Prince is first enchanted by Ella when her face is smeared with ashes and her hair is more or less a mess of tangled dreadlocks. That’s how she looks at the end of the movie when they’re reunited, as well. The movie does a fine job of clarifying this point, with the narrator saying something akin to: “And this is the greatest risk of all. Showing someone who we truly are, and asking them to love us for whom we truly are.”

You don’t always have to look good for your man. He should indeed love you when you first roll out of bed, without make-up, with your hair a mess. You don’t have to look like a princess for the man who loves you to see your beauty, inside and out. 

(Obviously she is still undeniably beautiful, but...ya know)




4)      Forgive. There is inherent value in doing so.

Cartoon Cinderella never gets to have the last word with Lady Tremaine. Ella does. And in that last second, when she is on her way out the door with the prince and her stepmother is left cowering on the stairwell, she only says three little words. “I forgive you.”

It doesn’t matter that she will likely never have to see her again, or deal with her again, or even if the woman is looking for forgiveness, which likely she is not.  But there is still value in pardoning her. And not just because Ella might feel better by doing so.



Everyone has a back story. Most people who are driven to cruelty have suffered cruelty themselves, or in the case of this story, some type of devastating loss. It does not justify their behavior, but it’s important that we remember they suffer too.  Forgiveness is compassion, forgiveness is remembering. Forgiveness is its own act of kindness.

5)      You are your parents’ legacy. You honor them with your behavior.

Ha, perhaps my favorite as far as messages for my daughter are concerned! But seriously, this was such a subtle yet powerful theme of this movie. Perhaps because we were given the opportunity to really meet Ella’s parents and see the beauty of their familial relationship, perhaps because we suffered the loss of them alongside her, her parents were a much stronger force in this version than the original.

Ella is kind, and good, and happy, because her parents instilled these qualities in her. When the world did everything in its power to destroy these traits, she fought to hold onto them in the name of her parents. She maintained ties to her childhood home with them when circumstance would urge her to do anything but. Even after they’re gone, her parents are her guiding force. Her choices are a reflection of them, and she takes this responsibility seriously.

One of my favorite aspects of the 2015 version is when the fairy godmother is standing before Ella with her wand. In the original movie, Cinderella is pleased as punch to lose her rags and don that ball gown. (SPOILER ALERT) But in this version? Ella protests. She wants to wear her mother’s dress, she makes a point in saying it will be like having a piece of her mother with her and that will be a source of comfort. Yep, cue the waterworks one more time. 



Yes, little girls become their own persons. But that person they choose to become is rooted in what their parents have instilled. So I guess this message was for the both of us, wasn’t it?

Those are the big ones for me. Yes, there’s lots of other Disney goodness in there too, like “see the world not as it is, but as it could be” and how sometimes you do have to believe in a little bit of magic here and again. But I can’t speak highly enough of the more thoughtful, intelligent points this movie managed to touch upon, all whilst keeping my four-year-old completely entranced with the imagery and action and beauty on screen. The movie was a bit mature for her, and some of the dialogue may have been over her head, but I cherished the opportunity to talk with her about some of these ideas in the car ride home. Which was totally unexpected, a special type of magic I hadn’t anticipated this movie delivering.

Well done, Disney. Well done.





Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Ten Books

Yikes!  This Facebook challenge was a looong time ago and I never finished it.  That's a shame, because all ten of these books that impacted me over the years definitely stay close to my heart.  So I've always wanted to return to this topic.

Here they are...not necessarily the ten best, not necessarily the ten most critically renowned, but ten that stick out in my mind.  (In semi-sort-of chronological order of when I discovered them.)  A lot of them fall within the children's/YA/NA realm, which isn't very surprising, even at this age!  Plus, I truly believe, you impact a reader early on, you impact a reader for life.



1)      THE COUNTRY BUNNY AND THE LITTLE GOLD SHOES (DuBose Heywar)
I appreciate this sadly beautiful tale in a whole new light nowadays (You GO Mama Rabbit! You ARE as swift and smart as those jackrabbits and you CAN make your dreams come true with all those babies at home.  Way to whip them into shape, btw!), but as a little girl, this was always a holiday favorite thanks to the sweet tale and dreamily beautiful illustrations. Associate this one with happy Easter memories.

“Cottontail knocked on the big front door and was admitted to the Palace. There she stood in her funny country clothes but none of the other four Easter Bunnies laughed, for they were wise and kind and knew better.”

2)      DEAR SISTER – SWEET VALLEY HIGH (Francine Pascal)
I think I borrowed this one from my dad’s classroom library a few years before I should have and boy was I hooked. Oh, the drama and suffering Jessica underwent as poor Elizabeth lingered in her coma and then emerged to try to steal Jessica’s boyfriend. And welcome to the world of YA series literature. The anticipation I felt walking into the bookstore at Coventry Mall after Friday night dinners with the family at the possibility of the next book in the series being on the shelf. The sweeping letters of the SVH covers will forever make me smile and I remember the personalities of each and every character between those covers.

“She’ll probably have all the work made up and a dozen stories written for The Oracle before I finish that one stupid book report on Moby Dick. I mean, Todd, who really cares about whales?'

Todd did, but he let the comment slide by.”

3)      LOVE SHACK – OCEAN CITY (Katherine Applegate)
When I realized that YA literature was just delicious. My friends and I thought these books were downright scandalous, although I’m sure now they’d be totally G-rated by comparison. Kate and Justin’s romance was a stand-out, and throw in racy Gracey for a titillating love triangle.  ;)  This book was the most memorable of the series and remained a favorite. This book = summers curled up in my parent’s recliner with fresh-brewed iced tea and homemade Rice Krispie treats. Fab.

Why on Earth can’t I find a quote from this book???

4)      WHITE OLEANDER (Janet Fitch)
Somewhere along the way I got sucked into Oprah’s book club. Many of the books, I didn’t get what the fuss was all about, but this one stuck with me. Such vivid characters and amazing imagery (Olivia’s lifestyle in particular).  The Astrid/Claire relationship really tore me up and made me angry about the movie casting. Sadly beautiful book.

“I almost said, you’re not broken, you’re just going through something. But I couldn’t. She knew. There was something terribly wrong with her, all the way inside. She was like a big diamond with a dead spot in the middle. I was supposed to breathe life into that dead spot, but it hadn’t worked.”

5)      I KNOW THIS MUCH IS TRUE (Wally Lamb)
A lot of people favored SHE’S COME UNDONE, but venturing into the world of psychology at the time, I liked this one. It was a bear to get through and remains one of the most depressing pieces of literature I ever picked up. It gets a spot on this list because by the time I finished it, I felt I truly earned the revelations at the end in the same way the main character did. And that revelation was worded so simply and yet so powerfully, it’s always stayed with me.

“I am not a smart man, particularly, but one day, at long last, I stumbled from the dark woods of my own, and my family's, and my country's past, holding in my hands these truths: that love grows from the rich loam of forgiveness; that mongrels make good dogs; that the evidence of God exists in the roundness of things. This much, at least, I've figured out. I know this much is true.”

6)      THE GIRLS’ GUIDE TO HUNTING AND FISHING (Melissa Bank)
Such unique and interesting and true perspectives on relationships.  Loved this book that reads like a bunch of little short stories strung together.

“You don’t need a reason to forgive,” she says. “If you want to go on with someone, that is what you do.”

7)      RITES OF SPRING BREAK – SECRET SOCIETY GIRL (Diana Peterfreund)
I believe this is now categorized with the New Adult genre, but at the time I read it, it didn’t have a name.  All I know is that it was a welcome break from ‘chick lit,’ yet had all the juicy goodness of YA romance on whole ‘nother smarter, wittier, deeper level. I relished this entire series. Read this one on a chaise in Fiji while my new hubby opened a coconut with his bare hands for me. Of course there are good memories. J  And it contains my most favorite literary couple EVER!

He didn't look up. "This is all just between us, right?"
"Yeah."
"I wouldn't say he likes you."
"Oh." Oh. Of course not. How stupid of me. How ridiculous, really-
"He's pretty much in love with you.”

8)      TWILIGHT SAGA (Stephenie Meyer)
You want me to lie and NOT give it a spot on this list? C’mon now. Regardless of what the critical masses thought, regardless of what I may think now, Twilight stuck with me. And then some. Man, I loved this series. She created a phenomenon no one could ever quite put a finger on, but for those of us who loved it, we got it. (Team Edward, btw – the shirt still hangs in my closet to prove it. Mwah. No really, it does.)

“And the sound of your heart. It’s the most significant sound in my world.”

9)      WIDE AWAKE (“Angst Goddess003”/S.M.)
Nope, it was never made into a book and will only be made into a book over her cold, dead body. But this woman can WRITE. She can write better than 99% of the writers who are published and she writes from the love and craft of writing above and beyond most of them too. This story is devastatingly tragic and wonderful and funny and engaging.

“...we’d be okay. Not perfect, not entirely healthy, not even rational where our love for one another was concerned. Just okay. Merely sufficient, at best. But there’d be only acceptance—never shame—in being two divine failures as we emerged from slumber, perfectly flawed, and wide awake.”

10)   THE BOOK THIEF (Markus Zusak)
This one has a special spot in my heart because “Papa” reminds me so much of my father, and the relationship between him and Liesel is heartwrenchingly precious.  And Rudy?  Forget about it. But really, it’s the scene where Liesel insists on marching beside Max once he’s been captured that burrowed into my memory and will stay there.  It’s one thing to have/show compassion, it’s another when that compassion calls for bravery in the face of such a horrifying threat.  And that’s a life lesson right there.

"Liesel shrugged away entirely from the crowd and entered the tide of Jews, weaving through them till she grabbed hold of his arm with her left hand. His face fell on her. It reached down as she tripped, and the Jew, the nasty Jew, helped her up. It took all of his strength.
"I'm here, Max," she said again. "I'm here." 







Thursday, November 20, 2014

Swoonworthy Gifts

I adore gift posts, especially when they're book/writing centered, like the ones Swoon Reads puts together periodically, or boards you can find on Pinterest. I adore Oprah's favorite things, and harbor a fair amount of resentment and jealousy that I never got to participate live. I adore wandering around the mall during the Christmas season and coo'ing over all the adorable kitschy stuff that shows up in late December that I never actually remember to add to my Christmas list. You know, the stuff you wish people would pick out for you, but never really think to. :)

Here are some of my favorites I've discovered thus far in the 2014 Holiday Season. They're loosely categorized under Writing Inspiration, Swoonworthy, and Family Friendly/Homebody. Maybe something will spark a gift idea for a loved one, or earn a spot on your personal list. Wishing you all a warm and wonderful holiday season - here's to reading and writing by the fire!

Writing Inspiration


1) Great American Authors Wall Calendar

Channel your literary hero with this wall calendar that features a silhouette and quote from a different American author each month. Includes Emily Dickinson, Mark Twain, Harper Lee, Ralph Waldo Emerson and more. Each month shows a grid calendar and colorful background artwork.



http://www.papersource.com/item/2015-Great-American-Authors-Wall-Calendar/3204_016/530056.html


 2) Pouch for the Inspiring Author

Perfect for pens, jump drives, and Starbucks gift cards




http://www.papersource.com/item/Never-Give-Up-Pouch/3301.021/519533.html


3) Texts from Jane Eyre

Mallory Ortberg, the co-creator of the cult-favorite website The Toast, presents this whimsical collection of hysterical text conversations from your favorite literary characters. Everyone knows that if Scarlett O’Hara had an unlimited text-and-data plan, she’d constantly try to tempt Ashley away from Melanie with suggestive messages. If Mr. Rochester could text Jane Eyre, his ardent missives would obviously be in all-caps. And Daisy Buchanan would not only text while driving, she’d text you to pick her up after she totaled her car. Based on the popular web-feature, Texts from Jane Eyre is a witty, irreverent mashup that brings the characters from your favorite books into the twenty-first century.




http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/texts-from-jane-eyre-and-other-conversations-with-your-favorite-literary-characters-book/3798585?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=1520&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-2_4_B


4) Stay Focused notebook

Keep all those ideas and outlines close at hand, and keep your eye on the prize - that complete manuscript!



http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ban-do-stay-focused-notebook/3878686?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=7108&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-4_20_A



Swoonworthy

1) Friend love is swoonworthy, too!

Filled with delightful art by Yumi Sakugawa, this book is a humorous tale of two friends who really friend-love each other. Makes a great lighthearted and delightful gift for your best friend.




http://www.papersource.com/item/I-Think-I-Am-In-Friend-Love-With-You/3307.010/9781440573026.html


2) Sweet Talk Pens

"You're better than unicorns!" And one of the ink colors is called "mermaid!" Obviously I had to buy these to toss into my tote. Plus, they have hearts on their caps.




http://www.papersource.com/item/Sweet-Talk-Pens/3202.050/825466928282.html


3) Neon Heart Tote Bag

The aforementioned tote...(did I mention I have this horrible habit of buying up my Christmas list in November because I'm impatient?)





http://www.papersource.com/item/Neon-Heart-Tote-Bag/3303-050/519390.html

4) Holiday Flying Wish Paper

This idea is so damn swoon-worthy. I'm totally inspired to write a holiday story and include this as a central feature...

Make all your wishes come true with the Holiday Wish Paper! Write your special wish on the flying wish paper, shape your paper into a tube and place it on the wish platform. Light the top edge of the tube and watch it burn down to a small beautiful flame. A great party gift and activity to share positive wishes and send them symbolically out into the universe.




http://www.papersource.com/item/Holiday-Flying-Wish-Paper/3303-047/783583898393.html


5) Heart Sweatshirt (avail. at H&M)

comfy and cute, dress it up or down...




Family Friendly/Homebody


1) Mug - NFT necessary :)



http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/thats-all-you-are-the-luckiest-guy-in-the-world-i-would-love-to-be-married-to-me-mug/3631749?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=8127&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-1_21_B

2) Rainy Day candle

So comforting on a rainy day!



http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/primitives-by-kathy-mason-jar-candle/3578577?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=8724&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-3_23_D


3) Panda Jammies

We love pandas in my house, and these are so cute and comfortable-looking.



http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/kensie-cozy-applique-thermal-pajamas/3835984?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=Navy+Geo%2F+Penguin&resultback=0&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-searchresults-_-1_1_A


4) All Is Calm Pillow

"Silent Night" is one of my favorite carols, and this pillow would be so soothing beside a fire. Would totally curl up with a book and this beauty on my lap.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/primitives-by-kathy-all-is-calm-pillow/3767184?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=2490&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-1_7_C


5) HOME art

Yep. I took the gift card I got for my birthday to buy new Tory Burch flats and immediately forgot about them when I saw this and decided I HAD to have it. I thought it was an astounding display of maturity on my part. :) (Until my husband pointed out it was nothing more than an impulse buy and he could have made me this himself for about 1/15 the cost.) But the dandelion line got me. It IS my daughter and I have to have this on my wall. It's pretty and it justifies my ignoring the dishes in the sink.

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/home-the-place-where-toys-are-on-the-floor-repurposed-wood-wall-art/3637483?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=0&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-searchresults-_-1_1_A



Happy Shopping, Everyone!